The day after my 26th birthday my boyfriend of two years disappeared.
Without a word or smoke signal he just ghosted me and left me with so many unanswered questions. I was devastated and continued to blame myself for everything I should have done differently in the relationship.
5 months later I googled him and found his baby registry. He had a baby girl two weeks after my birthday. I was crushed. I felt like I was drying in ten pounds of cement. I didn’t know what to do or say next. When I remembered, I had been affirming:
I allow what no longer serves me to be easily removed.
The affirmation really showed not only the type of men I was attracting but how powerful my mind is. I knew the relationship didn’t serve my highest good but I stayed around.
Why you ask?
Why do we stay in unsatisfying situations?
1. Familiar: We look at this time of pain as manageable because we already know how to deal with it. We’ve been in this situation before, so we’re comfortable with that level of pain and how to deal with it.
2. Unknown: The fear of the unknown (what happens if we walk away) keep us complacent. Feeling like the fear of what you don’t know is a pain worse than what’s really going on.
3. Not knowing how to change: We spend so much time, trying to figure out how to change that we rarely ever change our minds. Spending too much time on the problem and little on the solution.
I allow what no longer serves me to be easily removed. This allowed me to examine what I no longer wanted draining my energy. People, thoughts and situations that didn’t serve my highest good had to be removed.
And slowly but surely, I let more friends go. I quit my job and I moved to a new place. I really switched this up.
The future became less scary and more optimistic.
I decided I was worth the pain of transformation. I owed myself so much more than I thought I deserved and I am grateful for it (even the guy leaving).
Now, I thank the people who taught me the lessons because without them I wouldn’t have realized what was missing: Higher standards and expectations of myself and others.
Thank you to everyone who had contributed, I forgive you and I wish you well.
Ann Mossley is regular woman who is trying to live a legacy that will outlive her. Ann has taken it upon herself to help share the real stories of the silent women in the society. If you want her to share your story on the platform, send it to: [email protected]