This is the story of a woman who survived domestic violence.
Hergists: I heard that your husband wanted to burn you alive some years back.
The whole street were talking about it.
But you never told me you and your husband were having issues then.
You always look happy.
What exactly happened.
Her: I survived domestic violence.
I remember that day, it was 21st July 2009, I woke up that morning at 5 am, did my house chores and made food for my family.
I was going to dress up for work when my ex hubby asked the children to go the neighbour’s apartment because he wanted to have a discussion with me.
That was how it all started.
He locked me inside the room from past 7 am in the morning till 6 pm in the evening.
At first, I thought he wanted to make love, so I asked him to hurry cause I was late for work.
But when I looked into his eyes, I saw a different person .
He said he’ll find out if my company would close down if I didn’t go to work that day.
After about three hours in that room, my neighbour knocked on our door and asked if everything was okay.
I ran to the door to tell her to beg ex hubby to allow me go to work.
She pleaded with him and he said okay.
Immediately she left, he beat me blue black till I was lifeless.
I laid on our bed weak.
Told him I was pressed and he asked me to pee in a bowl which I did since he didn’t allow me out.
In the evening, he called one of my neighbours’ brother and asked him to buy fuel for him.
The boy brought the five litres of fuel and asked ex hubby if he should turn it into the generating set but ex hubby said no.
He collected the fuel and kept it in the room.
Few hours later, I was still lying down when I felt a downpour of liquid on me while I was on the bed.
He poured five litres of fuel on me.
He held his cigarette on his lips and his lighter in his hand and said ”today I will put an end to my sorrows and problems”.
Only then did I realise he was dead serious about killing me.
It was God who gave me the strength to shout and my neighbours broke down the door.
My kids heard my cry for help.
Some women came and took me out to bathe me outside my apartment.
The whole street came to our house and I was the talk of town for a long time.
I ran away with my kids that night to my family house only to run back again at midnight when my neighbours called me that my ex hubby was foaming from his mouth.
He tried to kill himself because I left.
His father said his son could not do such that he must have been playing with me.
He even denied it when his dad asked him.
I loved him madly.
He meant everything to me, and I stayed another 18 months.
But by this time, I was living in fear of what will be his next plan.
I was losing weight, depressed and self worth gone.
The pregnancy was the worst time of my life.
He abandoned me.
No sex for several months.
I carried the pregnancy all alone.
My baby was few months old when I made up my mind to leave.
I was so scared he’ll kill me, so I told him we were going to the family house to spend the long holidays and he agreed.
I left with few things for the kids and that was the day I left for good.
I never went back.
I didn’t even go back to pack my stuff till date.
It was tough.
I mean very tough.
I sold everything I had including my car to survive.
Till date no one in my ex hubby’s family called me to hear my part or settle the matter.
My ex hubby was suffering from obsession and inferiority complex.
When the hunger was too much for my kids and I, I removed the shame and started selling snacks, then to selling food.
I was using firewood and charcoal to cook right in front of my family house.
It was shameful for me as I went back to all these in an estate I grew up in.
So many happened to me after that but I’ll save that .
Am grateful to God I chose to walk away.
Here I am, it’s almost six years since I left.
I was frustrated by my mum.
I was called different names but I had taken my decision.
Today I am a General Manager in a hotel.
I’m not yet where I want to be but am better than where I started.
My kids are also fine.
Just this morning, ex hubby called to thank me for taking care of the kids all by myself.
He has been sick and unable to walk for three months now and has been laid off from work.
I am proud of myself.
This is my story.
Please walk away if u are abused physically or emotionally.
Don’t wait because you don’t know what his next move might be.
Ann Mossley is regular woman who is trying to live a legacy that will outlive her. Ann has taken it upon herself to help share the real stories of the silent women in the society. If you want her to share your story on the platform, send it to: [email protected]